The guide to a Saturday night with Team Awesome.

So my friend Iona wrote this about our night last night, and since it had myself and miss V in STITCHES all day i decided to post it for your viewing pleasure.

ENJOY!

1) Buy a litre of Vodkat or Jack Daniels ( i added JD since that's what I was drinking)
2) Eat houmous and chips.
3) Mime your way through "Poker Face".
4) Fall over on Union Street.
5) Get in a fight because your best pal was getting bummed at the bank machine. Then loose your earrings.
6) Look like this....
7) Plan and arrange outfits for Halloween which involve being Iona YF and Vic Hendo.
8) Dance to "some sort of hardcore version of 'Baby got back'".
9) Ask random birds to do up your dress whilst standing naked in the toilets.
10) Pretend "Boom Boom Pow" is playing when it's really Slipknot just because you want an excuse to dance with Smit.
11) Loose your friends.
12) Manage to get to Warehouse. Blag your way in for free by demanding you get a stamp. Lone behold your friends managed put THEMSELVES on the guestlist.
13) As soon as you arrive, start the Iona Tierney academy of dance. This involves, jogging on the spot, pointing your fingers like you are an air traffic controller and jog the length of the dancefloor on your lonesome. For 40 minutes straight.
14) Don't panic when your best friend falls INTO a table.
15) Go back to Korova by yourself because you doubt that walking up the stairs to go to the toilet is a good plan.
16) It's 3am. Time to vomit.
17) Have your best friend tell some guy that his name is not a name, it is an emotion. "Sigh" or "Si".
18) Gowans: "Can a hae your sacks?"
19) Walk hame barefoot.
20) Your feet. So try to hail an Ambulance as a taxi.
21) Either text boys to ask them to "stay over" or simply shout them because "Aberdeen isny that big, they'll probably here."
22) Phone for help when two Polish/..Frenchmen try to end your life. P.s, thank you Mike.
23) Don't sit on someone's motorbike. The alarm WILL go off and the owner WILL shout at you while you try to retrieve your lost heels and run away for dear life.
24) Arrive at your destination. Get naked. "Multi-spoon" your fellow companions.
25) Decide that you want to pranky someone. So, text there best friend, knowing that they are with them and ask for there number. They will NEVER find out who it was.
26) Start a rival clothing company, name it "Boner over Rory".
27) There's no point in asking if a song that contains the words "Tease me" is by Shaggy. It will be.
28) NEVER sing a song called "Your name is Smit, you are in ASD. You're glasses steamed up, when you looked at me."
29) Nor say, in the style of Shaggy, "It wasny me" after every single line in every single song.
30) There's no point in your texting your boyfriend because "everyones getting nailed apart from me." You will jynx your friends chances.
31) Don't doubt Matty Hoods identity. He will tell you to fuck off.
32) Don't send two people the same sext message. "you wanna stay at mine the night??" Two question marks. Nae kisses.


several hours later:
Victoria Gowans:
"I can't believe we slept till 11 o'clock."

Vicki Cockburn:
"I can't believe i'm such a whore."

"You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open."

Firstly, i didn't do TILF yesterday, MY BAD !
Last night was amazing. Like the best night i've had in oh so long !

The best people in my life were all there and the banter was top form. From Ella's perfect conversation, to Miss V's epic one liners, Nothing compares to Miss Plew's when you get some Beyonce on the go, Jamielee makes the best punch, Suzie makes me laugh like a kid my Wife's the most wonderful girl i know. I love her too much.

Boyhalf got a haircut yesterday and it looks SOSO good! I'm a pretty lucky girl :) I can't ever put into words how amazing i think he is and how in love i am. But everyone knows we're a forever kind of thing and i'm so happy.

the Klub was soso good, top props to Ben and Hendo for keeping my ass on the dancefloor for basically the entire night! Pour Some Sugar On Me made me DEEEELIGHTED !!
Being told how pretty i looked by everyone was pretty neat too haha !

Last night i saw someone i don't see often but who for about ten months i've hated so much. I saw her and didn't feel a thing. No anger, no fear, no bitchiness (well maybe a little) and it felt kind of awesome. It's been so long since i last saw her (I've seen her about 3 times since the whole breakdown of our "friendship") i didn't even realise it wouldn't affect me anymore. SCORE ONE FOR ME.

I've spent all morning watching Whitesnake videos on Youtube. I have yet to understand why. AT ALL.
Fuck it.
I love Whitesnake.
And basically a whole lot of other 80's hair metal bands i should pretend i don't.

Oh i also will love this FOREVER.



"Never trust a big butt and a smile"
I should come with that as a warning label!


xoxo

Champagne for my real friends, Real pain for my sham friends.

Last night was the best night out in town i have had in a really long time. SO glad we decided that staying in was for old people and nerds. haha.
We went to Dibble and Jamielee's flat warming and all the decent folk were there, but someone was noticeably missing. I really miss RB hanging out with all of us, i know there is nothing i can do but sometimes i feel sorry for those involved.
We cracked open the champagne i left there last time and toasted the move in. I'm never one to turn down a glass of good bubbly.
Jamielee made me an EPIC drink of Peach Schnapps, Vodka, Cherry Coke and Grenadine. It was like a fizzy Sex on the Beach. Rad as fuck. Naturally everyone got too drunk and a few words were thrown about and a few tears were shed before we even left to head to the Klub. I'm not suprised though, sometimes tensions run too high and people get involved in shit they shouldn't. Me included.

I really wish people would say how they feel when they're sober, why does it take getting shitfaced to open up to people. How do straight edge kids do it? Do they just hole it all up? I always thought the thing about friends was you were supposed to tell each other anything, no matter what but apparently i have the wrong end of the stick. I've realised there are TWO groups of friends.
The ones who will tell you when you fuck up, tell you if your ass looks big and be there through everything and the ones who act like you can do no wrong then bitch you out when your back is turned.
It's safe to say, i'm weeding out one of those groups.
No bets on which.

Last night i realised i can be SO happy with the life i have and the people i surround myself with these days. A good bunch of boys and birds.

Someone super close to me told me last night the reason they think a lot of girls have issues with me. They reckon i have a pretty desirable relationship with a lot of my male friends, no drama and no late night booty calls, just great friendships, something apparently a lot of girls would kill to have.

Something to ponder for sure.

:]

xoxo

Loose Lips Sink Ships.

Gossip Gossip Gossip.

Bitch Bitch Bitch.

That's how most weekends go these days.

Friday i went to Korova as usual and had a great time until the inevitable dramarama started. For once not really aimed at me (y) yay high fives all round ! But it fully made me aware of how different Boyhalf and his brother are and i'm sure lucky i got the one i did. I really don't have time for people like that anymore.

Saturday stayed in mainly cuz i couldn't hack more drama and in hindesight it was a good choice. I still know the jist of everything that went down though. I don't intentionally seek out gossip, I just know the right people, there isn't much you can hide from me these days, after realising important stuff was flying under my radar last year i make it my business to make your business my business. I don't even want to know to tell people, i just feel like if i know what's going on i can't ever get involved in the lies that are going around.

Boyhalf and i spent the whole of Saturday when he got in from work in bed having incomparable banter and incomparable sex. That boy is a full blown keeper.

I really feel bad for one of the boys, he's such a sweetheart, like a straight up adorable guy and now thanks to rumours and lies he feels like he can't talk to a girl he likes. In this town you can't be anyones pal without them thinking you're doing the nasty. I've learnt that from the rumours surrounding me and RB and me and JC (despite the fact i consider him a little brother. ACK) a girl and a guy can't hang out together alone if they're not dating, that's just crazy.
(I sure hope your sarcasm detectors are fully tuned in)

Speaking of little bro, i'm trying super hard to keep my cool about the possibility of him being dicked around once again. . He's far too good a guy to put up with it. I'm not going to divulge further about this though because i want to wait to hear the truth before we all lynch someone and besides, it's not really MY battle.

Yesterday i hit the pub with JC and we got a little tipsy before hitting Union T's to play football with the whole gang, about 20 of the most decent folk you'll meet. Such banter. I can't even describe how much fun i had, or how much my legs ache today!

Things I Love Friday!!

OOOOPS!! My bad. I didn't even realise it was Friday and i hadn't done my weekly update.
I don't even have the time now so this week all i'll be giving you is this week's honourable mentions...

http://asianposes.com/, My friend's carnage birthday parties, My wicked cool new Las Vegas sign necklace, Matty's car banter, Reheated pizza, Big Brother starting, Pina Coladas at the pub with the Boyhalf, Spending an inordinate amount of time in beer gardens, Bands that sound like dying pigs, Boys in tennis shorts, Giving up the ghost, http://seekingarrangement.com/ (the elite Sugar Daddy site. obvs), "Can you imagine getting a card from him, pentagram drawn all over the inside.", Teaching the Hoedown Throwdown to everyone in Korova with the girls.

Songs of the week
Milow - Ayo Technology
Papa Roach - To Be Loved
Jack's Mannequin - Swim
Paramore - Rewind
Dizzee Rascal - Bonkers.

I wanna love like Johnny and June.

"Oh there's something 'bout a man in black, Makes me want to buy a cadillac, Throw the top back, And roll down to Jackson town."

You know there's really something there when the person you're with can drive you stir crazy up the wall and you still get tummy bumps at the thought of them.
Love can be incredible and horrendous simultaneously.

The weekend we said Happy Twenty Faux birthday to Vic, partied like tramps and checked out the new Klub ( i decided drinking straight gin with a slice of lime was a good choice).
This weekend made me realise just how much i love drunken heart to hearts, even if you talk utter nonsense for the entire time you feel at the time you are saying some profound shit. I had several of these lately, and it seems i'm becoming the "go-to" girl for people's problems,, i always thought i was pretty crappy at advice but turns out i can be quite sound about it.
Saturday was a buh-bye to E's party flat and i don't really remember much about it, tears and tantrums was about all i can pick out from it all. I shouldn't drink Vodka it clearly makes me crazy.

The week has been a busy one too, checked out To Our Glorious Dead FINALLY and represented family, hit the pub hard with both RB and Boyhalf on different days and hung with the quadruple threat last night dancing to OMD, lusting after Andrew McCarthy and laughing so hard at Gonnella i thought i would die.
(pee ess props to Gonnella to introducing me to amaretto and coke. Winner at life.)

Some people think i've abandoned my pals, i think i've found the real ones.

xoxo